On the Fence

I've been met with a challenge: to run a half-marathon in March.  Our boot camp instructor is training a group and guiding weekly long runs beginning in January.  When I asked, one of my girlfriends said she thinks she wants to run it, too.

I've trained for a full marathon.  I've run 13 miles before.  That was six years ago.  I quit after my 13-mile training run because I hated it!  Up until that point, I had loved running.  For some reason, though, that 13-mile run did me in.  I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I was running and training alone.  This was before I had a cool iPhone full of hours of audiobooks and podcasts to keep me company.  I listened to music, but could only take so much of that.  Then the iPod shuffle I used died half way through my run, I think.  I just remember being in pain, being bored, and hating it, but also hating myself at the thought of quitting before I completed 13 miles.  When it was over, I felt defeated.  I couldn't imagine running that 13 miles TWICE.  So I quit.  Kind of a theme with me that you'll understand if you've been reading from the beginning.

When I asked my husband, he said, "I'm not stopping you."  I told him I would need his support, which is different than him "not stopping me."  He's on board, but I'm sure he's cautiously optimistic since I've begun training for a few marathons, but never completed training.

Today, I wrote out the 15-week plan.  I'll train with the group for 12 weeks, but I figure why not start now?

It's scary.  Committing to something like this also has the potential to lead to disappoint.  I've set my plan, even added in a 20-pound weight-loss goal.  I know from the past that if I'm not "on track," I get discouraged.  I am much much slower than I was 5 years ago.  I'm carrying more weight.  But, I DO truly enjoy running.  I like the quiet time.  I listen to books, podcasts, and some music, but keep it down low so that I can also focus on breathing.  Often, when I'm listening to a book, half an hour will pass before I realize I've missed an entire chapter because I get lost in my thoughts, talking to God.  Long runs, though, give me a friend to be with.  Even if we don't talk the whole time, there's just something about having someone else encouraging me to keep going.

So, the first deadline before the price raises for race registration is December 15.  Will I commit and register?  Will I actually do it this time?