I'm all for fresh starts. As a believer in Christ, I know His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23) and that, in Christ, I'm a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). When I mess up and ask for forgiveness, the slate is clean (I John 1:9).
Over the years, however, I've grown a bit cynical of New Year's Resolutions. The way I see it, if I'm resolving to do something, then I should just do it. (Yeah, right...do you read this blog?) I've also had 30-something years of NOT following through with resolutions, so when I begin thinking of the fresh start brought in with a new year, I decide that I'm going to start anything, it most certainly will not be on January 1.
With that being said, and if you have read any of my previous posts, you know I should be jumping on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon and riding it into the sunset of fitness, health and peace. So why am I not doing that?
I'm scared. I'm afraid. I'm scared of giving up things I love, like comfort-eating and lounging in my warm bed on cold mornings. I'm afraid of failure; of disappointing myself one more time. At this point in my life, I've lost and gained back weight (20-40 pounds) about three times. All three times, I lost weight by reasonably eating less and exercising more. All three times, I was certain I was keeping it off for good.
So this year, when I find myself at my highest weight ever, I also find my usually-upbeat, optimistic self being very pessimistic. While I feel like not even trying, I know that if I keep going in my current direction, I'll be qualifying as a contestant on The Biggest Loser by the time I'm 40. Hmm..maybe I should do that: gain another hundred pounds, go on The Biggest Loser, win The Biggest Loser title, take home the $250,000 prize and become a famous spokesperson and public speaker.
Okay, okay, I know that's not reasonable. So here's what's swimming around in this doubtful brain of mine:
--I went to boot camp through the end of the year, but getting up that early is killer at this season of my life. With older kids who stay up until 10:00pm and toddlers who wake early, late night is my time to live in a silent house. My friends and I are all currently on the fence about if we'll go this year or not.
--I was considering the half-marathon training, but a good friend of mine shared wisdom with me that changed my decision. Together, this friend and I will start working toward a 5K in the early Spring, then a Fall 10K, then look at a half-marathon in 2013. My friend said she often sets goals based on what she used to could do, which sets her up for disappointment. I used to run 3-5 miles three times per week. I could manage a 7 or 8 mile long run and would even be giddy the morning before. Times have changed. I don't run consistently, so I'm basically starting over. I need to treat myself like a new runner. A new, very slow runner.
--This same friend has challenged me to do a "Reboot" with her. We start the first phase this week. Yes, on January 8th, not the 1st! See what I did there?
A few other resolutions I made this week that have already paid off:
--Fix my hair and put on makeup in the morning. I'm not much of a makeup and hair girl, so for me, this just means blow-drying my hair so it looks smooth, then putting on some lipstick, eyeliner and blush. The first day I did this, my husband brought home, with little notice, a co-worker visiting from out of state. Later in the week, I had just finished applying my eyeliner when a got a phone call from a prospective employer. It was a videophone call, so being out of my PJs and looking presentable paid off!
--Prioritizing school. I feel great about how school went this week. It wasn't perfect and I still need to find more creative ways to motivate the boy, but we accomplished more this week than we have any other week last year. One way I prioritized was school over a tidy house. I find myself wanting to clean up every mess the little boys make, but that totally interrupts our school time and distracts the kids. This week, if I saw a mess, I just told myself, "We have set times during the day to do a quick tidy-up. We'll take care of that later."
--We completed our first week using Accountable Kids. The first several days, my older girl and oldest boy didn't seem too motivated to follow the system. However, when they saw their sister earning tickets, bonus bucks, and stars, they found their motivation!
Here's to us all finding the motivation to accomplish our resolutions in 2012! If you didn't succeed your first week of 2012, who cares?! Make the anti-New-Year resolution and just pick up and start now.
