Breaking Point Number 1

Love of my life. Had no clue I hated my body.

On my wedding day in January 1997, I weighed more than ever.  At 22, I was 5’5” and weighed over 180 pounds.  I was so disappointed that I hadn’t lost weight even for my wedding.

My sweet new husband would wonder why I wanted to keep myself covered up all the time.  Goodness, here he was, finally married and allowed to look at a naked girl, and all his wife wanted to do was hide her mid-section.  He loved me and didn’t see me how I saw myself.  That was beyond belief for me at the time.  I didn’t understand how he could look at me and NOT see “fat”.

The poor guy.

During our first months of marriage, I decided that it was crazy for me to be 22, the age older women covet, the age older women look back on and wish their body could “look like that again”, and be so much over weight.

I tried Oprah’s new book she had written with Bob Greene.  It worked for a few weeks.  I was still overweight.  I followed Richard Simmons’ point system.  I was still overweight.  During all of this, I worked out, mostly weight training, on a fairly regular basis.

Then I read a book that would change how I ate for years to come.  I read Fit For Life by Harvey Diamond.  I started experimenting with a vegetarian diet and food combining.  I ate only fruit in the morning hours.  I would never eat carbs with proteins.  I continued to work out in the mornings, but with even more regularity.  I was still overweight.

For a couple of years, I remained an overweight vegetarian.  I still ate too much.  I followed Marilu Henner’s “Total Health Makeover”, still food combining and becoming totally vegetarian and non-dairy.

During this period, I read books about weight loss, books about food, books about working out.  I wrote down everything I ate. I talked about diets. I shared with everyone why they should be vegetarian.  Basically, I was obsessed and definitely annoying.

Then in 1999, I got pregnant.  I decided to eat well during my pregnancy and lost a lot of weight (healthily) during my first trimester.  My doctor was happy.  So was I.

When I was nine months pregnant with Hannah, I weighed exactly 180 pounds.  Less than what I had weighed on my wedding day.